Much of Australia is currently in the grip of one of our periodical droughts, and a severe one at that! And the domain of Liquorice and Keaton has not been spared those effects as their once lush green world has turned parched and brown. Their home is on a few acres and not connected to “town” water. We rely on rainfall collected in a large concrete tank for our domestic water supply. With that supply having dwindled two loads were ordered from the local carrier. In dry times such as these his large tip truck (dump truck?) with its detachable steel water tank is much in demand. Liquorice and Keaton have had large trucks visit their realm previously, but never a tanker, and never had one been so bold as to proceed behind their home to our water tank. However this seemed not to concern my two little darlings as the tanker reversed slowly and purposefully across their once glorious lawn to the in-ground water tank. Eventually the truck rumbled to a halt and the driver raised the front of the dump truck body about two feet enabling the last drops of precious liquid to drain as the tank emptied. Then, with a shudder, the diesel engine ceased its rhythmic tune. Liquorice took little interest in the truck for all her interest was with the elderly driver and the ear-massage he lavished upon my little darling! Apparently Liquorice felt it her duty to allow this visitor to perfect his ear-massaging technique for she required that he “practice” often during the time he was in her presence. While Liquorice is the welcoming hostess, Keaton is Lord Protector of the Realm when it comes to the unusual. The driver was accepted without qualm once I greeted him. Actually Liquorice greeted him first, however as they say in the “classics”, “Beauty before Age.” But for Keaton that truck was a thing of wonder! A mystery to unravel and a spectacle to behold!

The young master watched carefully every movement that driver made as he prepared to unload his cargo. Keaton watched as a thick flexible tube was pulled from the back of the truck and connected to an outlet pipe. The other end, laid along the dry ground, was placed through the manhole of our water tank and a heavy wire hook secured to prevent any recoil once the pump started to send water surging through that tube. Keaton knew not of the reasons why, only observed in silent wonder. Liquorice knew only that these distractions diverted the driver from perfecting his ear-massages! When all was ready a gate valve was opened from the tank flooding water through the powerful pump, the tube and plunging noisily into the puddle that was the remainder of our water supply. That initial heavy splash and continuing joyful sound of water falling on water intrigued my little darlings. Liquorice believed the gnarled hands of that driver rubbing her neck and shoulders would enhance the auditory pleasure that now reached her ears. For Keaton, well, you could see, reflected on his handsome face, the little gears and cogs his mind slowly turn as he sought an understanding of these rare sights and sounds. Next Liquorice’s talented friend, the driver, noisily started the pump to pumping, the discharge tube stiffened sending water whooshing out the end as from a fire-hose!

Liquorice accepted it all with her usual calm equanimity, allowing that prodigy of the ear-massage to adjust the discharge tube before requiring of him to pet her some more. For Liquorice believes when you’re on a good thing, stick to it!

For Keaton though, he watched as that discharge tube stiffened. Delight was now added to his expression as the water gushed under pressure from the tube’s end! Enlightenment was his! Events fell into place! All now made sense to the young master! Realization had dawned! For Keaton had apparently discerned that truck had come to have a piddle in our water tank! And the biggest piddle our Keaton had ever witnessed! And the length of that truck’s piddler, truly amazing! Keaton was clearly impressed for this was not just a mere piddle, but a “leak” of almost Biblical proportions! A three-inch stream driven with force that he could only envy! Then he noted the apparent “squatting” posture of that truck, it’s tank tilted giving rise to that effect. Keaton also noted with some satisfaction that all four wheels of that truck were firmly on the ground! For the young master knows that his Dad is teased whenever anyone sees Keaton have a leak as the young master, now 14 months old, still squats to relieve himself! Endless are the comments of bringing their dog up to show Keaton how to “pee properly, like a real dog!” Few could deny my “fatherly” defense of the little fellow as to those that would dishonor my baby boy’s chosen style I respond by telling them that Keaton has a leak like that of the “Virile Stallion” or the “Mighty Bull”, with four feet planted firmly on the ground. No petite piddles for my little boy! No dainty raising of one back paw in apologetic servile salute while balancing unsteadily upon the other! No senseless conforming to peer group pressure for Keaton is the Master of his Fate, a trendsetter when it comes to the art of having a leak! No undignified pose whilst dangling a leg in mid air, nervously spotting here and anxiously spraying there. No Keaton’s leaks are of full and manly volume. And now, here was this truck, having a leak of previously unimaginable magnitude, also mimicking the young master’s technique! Any doubts young Keaton may have held of that truck’s actions being not as he has supposed were quickly dispelled as the tank emptied and the pump sucked air with the water causing a “stop, start” action. Just as Keaton does when straining to squeeze the last drops from his own piddler! The relief apparent in the pump engine’s final gasps before falling silent was reflected in Keaton’s innocent trusting face for he could only imagine the release and the comfort that must now be felt by our relieved mechanical visitor!

All in all Keaton was most impressed!

Arthur Witten
Liquorice – Drink up Keaton, I want that driver to come back again real soon!
Keaton – That truck must have a chronic bladder problem. It came back and did it again!