Once again, Liquorice has been found guilty and sentenced to a lifetime ban from ever setting foot in the downstairs bathroom!
The sentence was imposed by a Judge far less lenient than I am.
You see she was apprehended at the scene of the crime after having chewed several yards of toilet paper from the roll and converting several more yards into the juiciest arsenal of assorted sized spitballs you have ever seen. They ranged from the small size that fits the barrel of a ballpoint pen to the sloppy, heavy-duty blobs that require a very wide ruler to do them justice. (We could have used her on our side, as Munitions Officer, long, long ago when I was at school. <vbg>)
Personally I cannot understand why there was so much fuss. I would have thought that a sheet of toilet paper giving its life to entertain our little girl was far nobler and infinitely more preferable to the fate that awaits the balance of the roll!
Liquorice and I are hopeful that a short period of good behavior will atone for her sins.
Arthur Witten
Liquorice – Hey Dad, I’m thirsty